Monday, January 30, 2006
I'll never understand..

Why a grown man can not distinguish the difference between "10 items or less" and the 50 he has in his cart.

Why my 13 year old daughter can master a PS2 game in less than 30 seconds but can't seem to figure out how to put toilet paper on the roll.

Why I can never find my boss when I need him, but he can find me at any given moment.

Why the barista at my favorite Starbucks can not spell my name correctly, after I have spelled it for him countless times. It starts with a K not a C you nudnik.

Why Monday's have to be so brutal.

posted by Harmony @ 7:02 PM  | |
Friday, December 16, 2005
Dear God,

Yes, I know, it's been a while. In my defense though, I have been extremely busy with the new job and the new house. I need a huge favor though. Now, I know it's not polite to just start off by making excuses as to why I haven't called and then jump right in to asking for something, but I'm desperate.

Seriously desperate.

Please please please give me the strength to tell my darling daughter, (you know, the gift YOU gave me for Christmas thirteen years ago) No she can not have that adorable 12 ounce ball of fur next door, for Christmas. I'm entirely too young to be known as "the crazy cat lady" and I'm pretty sure that with a female and a male that both have the ability to procreate, it wouldn't take long for me to become THAT lady.

I promise I won't fall asleep during midnight mass this year and I'll even commit to confession at least once a month, if that's what it takes. At this point, I'll do anything. Ok, that was a lie, I could never be a nun. I enjoy sex way too much to give it up. (And there is no need to point out that I have the sex life of a nun, I’m painfully aware of that already.)

So, think it over and get back to me, you know where I'll be.

All my love and devotion,

K

posted by Harmony @ 7:09 PM  | |
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Yearning

I don't have the words to describe how I yearn for
these
bad boys. Just the thought of them sliding up my legs, send shivers down my spine.

posted by Harmony @ 10:15 PM  | |
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
How long do you have to wait for a gun permit?

I grew up in the South, where it is socially acceptable to have a gun rack with atleast two shotguns hanging on it in the back window of your pick-up-truck and Hunting is a sport taken way too seriously. Hell, for a few hundred dollars, you can get a license to carry a concealed weapon now.

Never though did I think I would actually consider owning one. Then my daughter turned thirteen, hit puberty and discovered boys. Now gun owner ship has become a necessity.

I wonder if I can get a good deal on one of these

posted by Harmony @ 10:45 PM  | |
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Never again..

Will I get the mistaken impression that I know anything about HTML.

Actually, I do know one thing about HTML.

Apparently I know how to fuck up my template.

posted by Harmony @ 7:40 PM  | |
Mission Impossible

Up until this point in our relationship I thought I could forgive you for anything.

Like your incessant need to poke fun of my accent or you’re constant begging for me to come and do your tax prep, for free. All of that I have forgiven.

However, I will NEVER be able to forgive you for washing your whites, colors AND towels ALL together.

IN WARM WATER.

The devastation is overwhelming. I will only be able to find solace in pie.

posted by Harmony @ 6:29 PM  | |